Ten – 6th & Irving

The good: I’m going to keep the sushi reviews to a minimum because although there are hundreds of excellent sushi places in the city, I’m not enough of a connoisseur to really discriminate beyond “good” and “sketchy.” So this will be one of the few.

I loved the sushi at Ten because they have many different rolls on their menu that are wrapped in different things like rice paper and cucumber (very cool to see them cutting the cucumber apple-peel style) because the same old seaweed wrap can be boring. Anyway, try the Volcano roll, it takes a little while to prepare but it is the best fat-bastard delight of a sushi treat I’ve ever had. It is basically a sushi and crab rainbow roll with asparagus, topped with cheese and sitting next to a huge flaming pile of salt (originally thought to be sugar but upon closer inspection – er, ingestion – definitely salt: sorry Scott).

The bad: The edamame was soggy and cold, but that’s about it. The place was also really empty, but then again it was Tuesday after Memorial Day, when most people’s stomachs aren’t even ready for dry toast, nevermind raw sea creature.

The bottom line: Go! If you’re in the mood to stuff yourself silly with sushi and have a full on meal, go. All told we had three huge rolls, a sashimi dish, they gave us edamame to start, some peach-ish ice cream at the end, and we each had 2 drinks a piece. The bill came to $80 with tip. Not bad. Not to mention the interesting surprises along the way, like the Japanese pickles and such. I won’t give it all away.

The bathroom: I didn’t go! Next time I’ll check it out and I will report back: I promise.

Kezar - Carl & Cole

Kezar – Cole & Carl


The good: It’s close to the house, the food is ok, you can get in and out relatively quickly and it won’t cost you an arm and a leg.

The bad: We come here every couple of weeks and pretty much everyone has the same opinion. It’s alright… the mac & cheese is good if your stomach is a bit unsettled, the tacos are good if you want something spicy, and you can get a decent, if overpriced, glass of cabernet. But this is also the bad - its just never that impressive. Also – if you don’t like animals in restaurants you may be disturbed by the giant tiger cat lurking around, who seems to feel no shame in sprawling his fat furry self all over the bar or wherever else he feels like lazing about. Mark, my go-to British food critic says, “Don’t even think about the fish & chips. Rubbish.”

The bottom line: If you happen to be in the neighborhood and need to grab a quick dinner then stop in, if not…don’t make a special trip.

The bathroom: Sliding door, separate sink & toilet rooms. Strange because if someone else is in there, you never know if you’re supposed to wait in the sink room or outside completely. Usually clean, but am I am still skeeved out by it for some reason. Needs a makeover.

**NOTE** Ok – so its time for me to make amends with the Citrus Club.

I’ve finally gone back and it was as good as ever – better, even! I had a grilled ginger salmon (was cooked PERFECTLY, not overdone like most places: hate that) over garlic noodles, carrots, snow peas, broccoli and some other vegetables. It was one of the best things I’ve eaten in a while and I forgot how cheap it is! It cost me $10 for a delicious dinner that I’ll get to eat for lunch tomorrow too (if I can leave it alone for that long, or if someone else (read: Lindsay) doesn’t discover it before then.

Anyway, I can’t turn back the food poisoning clock, but I’m definitely giving this place another go. I think you should too. :)

Sam’s / Guymas: 2 different waterfront restaurants in Tiburon

The good: Location, location, location! Both of these laid-back patio joints are located right on the water in Tiburon, right over the Golden Gate. Sam’s is where you should go if you want a burger and you don’t mind obnoxious drunkards having obnoxious drunk (loud) fun. Guymas is where you should go if you’re in the mood for a nice light salad and a glass of wine, and you’d like to relax and have a good chat with the person next to you. Can’t count how many sunny days now I’ve longed to sit and enjoy either. Makes for a great Saturday or Sunday afternoon if the weather is cooperating.

The bad: You have to drive there (or take the ferry) so you can’t enjoy your drinks too much.

The bottom line: If you’ve got a couple hours before the sun goes down and you’re in the mood for an outdoor drink, get over there. Sometimes it gets a little windy & chilly when the sun goes in, so bring a sweatshirt. Also keep in mind: you’re sort of a big deal, so don’t forget to flip up your collar and put your shades on.

The bathroom: Don’t go anywhere near Sam’s bathrooms unless it is an emergency. They’re of the public pool-house variety and you’re bound to track something back to your table via flip-flop. The bathroom at Guymas is nice, lots of mirror, and you can chill with the girls and gossip in there no problem.

Blowfish: 2170 Bryant St. in the Mission

The good: Sushi! And if you like your spicy tuna very spicy, you will be excited. Also had some delicious mango mojitos, which weren’t too sweet, which is kind of hard to pull off with this sugar bomb of a drink. Also saw the “smoking volcano” being brought over to someone’s table. Very cool… but then dry ice gets me every time. Was there with clients so paid no attention to the prices on the menu, but I know we got a ton of sushi, drinks and appetizers and between the five of us the bill came out to about $200 (before tip). Not bad for sushi this good.

The bad: Was a little loud, and is kind of tucked away in the Mission so had to have hostess call us a cab for us before we left.

The bottom line: Definitely, definitely check it out. I wasn’t as impressed as I was by Tsunami – the cool atmosphere seemed a little more forced – but it’s definitely good.

The bathroom: Decent. Clean. Nice lighting. Tucked away in corner so you don’t have to wait in line while in view of the entire restaurant. If you’re like me, you don’t want everyone watching while you… well, do the pee dance.

Citrus Club – Haight Street

The good: The soup. The chicken noodle soup and the shrimp wonton soup on the specials menu. Note: they rotate two “specials” menus, so you’ll have the choice of one of those soups depending on what day you go. Tastes like something your grandmother would cook up on a Sunday afternoon. Big slices of fresh carrot, lots of noodles – rice noodles, not flimsy egg noodles – plus spinach make this soup something I crave when I’m feeling under the weather or if it’s a rainy day in SF (both rare, of course). The spring rolls are a great light appetizer, and the beef and broccoli noodle dish (always on the “specials” menu) is great too. When you go in on a busy night, be sure to write your name up on the clip board that’s in the hallway – that’s how the waitress/hostess handles seating.

The bad: After going here on a weekly basis for about 5 months, I got food poisoning. :( Mas horriblé. Not sure if it was the soup or what (seems strange to get food poisoning from soup, no?) but whatever it was, my dining companion got it as well and it was a nasty experience that I don’t care to recount any further. I haven’t been able to bring myself to return yet, but I can’t say that I won’t ever go back. The place treated me really well for a while and I was pretty attached to it.

The bottom line: The restaurant is cozy, and its inexpensive, really tasty Thai/Vietnamese food. Great place to go with a friend for a casual meal.

The bathroom: Is off to the left of the bar, through one of those hippie-ish beaded curtains. It is a water closet set-up, where the sink is outside of the toilet room. Could be nicer.

House Of Nan King - 919 Kearny Street

The good: This place is known for serving some of the best and cheapest Chinese food in town. We ordered chicken, shrimp, beef and rice plates and all of them were delicious. What this place lacks in decor and attentive servers, it makes up for in food.

The bad: Ambience - there is none. The restaurant consists of two crowded rooms with uncomfortable metal chairs and tables. Although the service is very quick, if you need to be pampered when you go out to dinner, this is not the place for you. They are very busy during dinner time hours and they will hand you the bill before you ask for it. Also, they don't take reservations except for large parties and there is usually a line outside.

The bottom line: Go there if you're looking for extremely tasty and inexpensive Chinese food. That's about all you can expect from this place but it is well worth it.

The bathroom: I didn't go there but if the rest of the place is any indication of what the bathroom might be like I wouldn't expect anything too special. You'll probably just want to do your thing and get out of there.

Solstice – California & Divisadero

The good: The atmosphere. Good lighting, lots of yellow, orange & red. Great respite from a gloomy SF night. The food: I know this is a common suggestion of mine, but get a bunch of stuff and share. That’s what they’ll recommend you do anyway. Oh – Monday nights – all bottles of wine half off.

Restaurant gossip: the owners of Solstice, who own Fly bar as well, are opening a new restaurant called "Brick" in early May, at 1085 Sutter St. (near Larkin). Rumor says it will be very hip, and more polished than Fly and Solstice. Stay tuned.

The bad: All three of the times I’ve been here, they’ve run out of several items on the menu. On one hand, that generally means that all of the food is very fresh and that the restaurant is popular (a good sign), but on the other, the menu is very small so it’s kind of disheartening.

The bottom line: Good place to go on a Sunday night if you’re in the mood for a small-ish, semi-quiet dinner. Other nights it can get pretty noisy.

The bathroom: Is pretty cool, up the stairs from the main dining room. I went there one time on a date and had a slight panic about falling down (or up) the stairs in front of the entire restaurant (due to the open floor plan) but I’m guessing you won’t work yourself into a frenzy like I did and you’ll be fine.

Fly – Fulton & Divisadero

The good: Very cool bar. Interesting art all over the walls, a pool table, great food & drinks. Try a sake-tini. Can be cool on a Friday or Saturday night, with tons of people around, but is also cool for a Sunday night jaunt, if you’re in the mood to just lounge around on the couches and maybe play a game of pool.

The bad: Is a little too dark, and kind of in a weird area of town. I recommend going to Tsunami sushi first, then heading over.

The bottom line: Check it out.

The bathroom: Fine, funky, with bits of smashed mirror on the ceiling. You usually have to wait, as it’s a one-person and shared between male & female, however there are interesting collages of drunken patrons on the wall to study while you’re waiting, and if you look up toward the ceiling there’s some weird shadow box perched there that I can’t figure out. It could be a cat house or something. If you find out why it’s there please let me know.

Tsunami – Fulton & Divisadero

The good: holy hell, the sushi. I have to say, this is probably the best sushi I’ve had in the city. Take the suggestion of the waitstaff on the specials menu, but from the regular menu I’d suggest trying the Volcano or New Yorker rolls. Both delicious. The sake drinks we had were perfectly juicy but not too sweet, perfect. Skip the yam tempura fries for an appetizer and get the edamame instead.

The bad: Our neighbors on each side of us were too close and just happened to be obnoxious (one bad date in progress, five loud 21 year olds). This could be a problem if you were on a date yourself. The hostess gave us the option of seats, though, and we strolled in at 7:30 on a Friday night so it shouldn’t be a problem.

The bottom line: Definitely go, and head over to Fly bar across the street afterward for a follow up sake-tini.

The bathroom: Weird. You have to walk through some Wizard of Oz curtain, then you’re half in a convenience store and half in a long, cold concrete hallway. The bathroom is at the end of the hallway. Can imagine it would be scary if you were either drunk, high or under influence of psychedelic drugs.

Pork Store Café – 1451 Haight St.

The good: YES! Finally found a greasy-spoon breakfast place comparable to the ones we have back east!! The food is great, they have some interesting egg scrambles and omelettes, great toast and homefries, unreal fluffy pancakes, and they cook their bacon until its crispy just how I like it. If you get a chance, sit up on the bar stools and watch the cooks go at it. It is quite impressive the way they perfectly coordinate their moves and attack that grill. It's like a dance!

The bad: You may have to wait in a semi-obnoxious line if you show up mid-morning on Saturday or Sunday. Earlier or later and you’re usually fine.

The bottom line: Hangover or no hangover, but especially if you’re hungover, definitely head down.

The bathroom: I know I went in, but I can’t remember what it’s like. Sorry. Far too smug about being there to notice.

Shanghai 1930 – 133 Steuart St. – SOMA

The good: the atmosphere – very posh, large dining room, very lively. There is live jazz every night, and it can get loud, so don’t come if you’re looking for quiet time. The hostess at the door can be a little intense, but the wait staff is super friendly and accommodating. The food is good, not outstanding. Think upscale dim sum.

The bad: Well, it’s overpriced dim sum.

The bottom line: It’s a good place to go with friends if you don’t mind dropping a few bucks, and there are some cool bars in the area so you can go out afterward. Definitely not a place to bring kids, I would say.

The bathroom: Think horse stalls. Big enough so you don’t have to wait in line, pretty standard.

Le Colonial – 20 Cosmo Place (off Taylor near Union Square)

The good: So many things. As one of my favorites, it’s going to be hard for me to say anything bad about this place. Let’s start with the décor and atmosphere. The outdoor patio has a tropical, subdued feeling and you can imagine you’d feel comfortable wearing white linen. The inside is expansive, with low lighting. Lots of dark wood with white table cloths: simple and elegant. The food is Vietnamese and delicious. Try the lemongrass chicken or the coconut curry prawns, and the lettuce wrap rolls are great. There are many varieties to choose from, but if you need a suggestion, I recommend the duck. The waiters are not bad to look at, and they are as engaged or as formal as you want them to be. We’ve had the same Australian waiter every time we’ve gone and I must say I’m growing quite attached to him. Buddy. Whoops, getting off track… the food, again. Delicious. This is a great place to order family style. Get a couple of entrees, an appetizer and a side to share and it will be more than enough. Try the 'J' Pinot Noir (Healdsberg) for wine, it is delicious. There is a sommelier on hand some nights, too, and he’ll help you choose a bottle of wine if you need help or suggestions.

The bad: I like it too much, I can't even think of anything negative.

The bottom line: It is expensive, granted. But it is SO absolutely worth it, you have to go. A great Saturday night out: you can have dinner and then head upstairs to the bar. I wasn’t aware the bar was there until about my fourth or fifth visit, but apparently it is quite a hotspot (slightly posh/cheesy according to some).

The bathroom: Is always clean, and they have special Le Colonial hand towels, which gets me every time. Very basic, slatted-door stalls, nothing fancy. Fine.

Crepes on Cole / All other creperies in the city

The good: Ok here’s where I’ll have trouble. While you can walk in and find something digestable, for sure, I just don’t understand the need for all of these damn crepe places in the city. Sure, you can go in and get a decent dessert crepe for a reasonable (or not so reasonable in some places) price, but honestly, who needs crepes more than, say, once a year? Who is eating all of these crepes?! Where is the demand coming from?

The bad: The horrible potatoes they insist on serving with every entrée. They’re underseasoned, undercooked and just... harrible (yes, horrible with an 'a,' Long Island style). The sandwiches are bland and dry. Um I could go on for hours here, so I’m just going to stop. Please see below.

The bottom line: Forget it. There are too many good restaurants in the city to buy this junk. It makes my heart hurt. If you need a crepe fix, go to Frjtx’s, they can help you out there.

The bathroom: Not sure if it’s existent, but I don’t care to find out. I’ll only run in about once a year for a dessert crepe or an emergency soup for someone who’s sick in the house.

Enrico’s Sidewalk Café – Broadway & Kearny – North Beach

The good: The food. Consistently good, which can be tricky. Try the pork chop or the chicken, try the gnocchi. Good salmon, too. The outdoor patio seating is awesome, but make sure it’s a warm night because it can be chilly. They don’t take reservations for the patio, but you can usually smooth right in if you’re willing to chill out for a couple of minutes. If you sit inside, there will be a cool jazz band playing that is usually fun and not too loud.

The bad: The area – brought my mother there when she was in town and unavoidable view from the dinner table was a sweet little video store across the street called “NASTIEST VIDEOS IN TOWN: XXXX.” Lovely. I made sure we got a picture in front of that one for the baby book… alas, smut is part of North Beach’s charm so you must look past it. Oh, the wine list could be much better.

The bottom line: Great place to bring out-of-towners, especially those who don’t have the luxury of outdoor seating for most of the year. They’re kid-friendly, too.

The bathroom: I have to say, it is pretty treacherous. It is perpetually flooded (North Beach is due for a new drainage system so when it rains, to many shopkeepers’ dismay, the buildings often flood), and the experience is further hampered by a suspicious potpourri scent that I had trouble identifying at first. Ah yes, I’ve got it now: whorehouse, that’s the scent. Anyhow the bathroom reminds me of a frat house basement: not really acceptable for a stand-up restaurant.

Mangarosa – 1548 Stockton St. in North Beach

The good: The food here is great, and combined with the atmosphere it is an awesome experience. The food is Italian with a Brazilian twist. The service is great. If you can, take the suggestions of your waiter: this tactic worked well for me on two separate occasions. The hostess and bartender were very sweet and accommodating when I went back to collect my credit card after leaving it there in a just-fell-off-the-wagon, 2 1/2 glasses of wine haze. Anyway, try the spinach salad or the ahi tuna for an appetizer, and don’t miss the risotto.

The bad: The prices. Definitely too expensive. I’d like some sautéed spinach, sure, but I don’t want to pay an extra $10 for it!

The bottom line: Guys, gals, business-people: if you’re going out and you’re sure someone else is footing the bill, head straight down here. It’s a nice night out anyway, so definitely make it a point to come down here sometime. For a date or a special occasion, perhaps.

The bathroom: Nice! V. clean, and they had some African Safari-looking theme going on in there. Bonus points for a theme!

Patxi’s (‘paw-cheese’) – Hayes Valley

The good: Where to begin? Oh - the pizza. Perfectly spiced sauce, perfectly balanced cheese and toppings, perfectly flaky, not cardboard-y crust: this place is great. The people who work here are proud of the pizza (rightly so) and their enthusiasm shines. Great (if small) wine selection & good beers on tap. Patxi’s has its roots in Palo Alto and opened up shop in the city not too long ago because of increasing frustration amongst city-dwellers to find pizza suitable for human consumption. Any east-coaster or Chicago refugee will tell you (and probably give you a look of disgust while they’re at it) that there is a lack of good pizza in California in general. BUT – problem solved. Go to Patxi’s. And go hungry: it’s fierce.

The bad: Although necessary for genuine Chicago pizza, you’ll have to wait about 40 minutes for your pie. This wait time, coupled with the fact that Patxi’s is a relatively small shop (in relation to its popularity), means that although you’re headed out the door ravenous (per my own suggestion), you may not have your pizza in front of you for quite some time. If you’re a visionary, (or an antisocial freak), you can call ahead and pick up your pizza, avoiding this whole mess.

The bottom line: Definitely go. But like I said before, go HUNGRY. It’s a whole lotta pizza.

The bathroom: Kind of strange, actually. Very industrial, like a gas station bathroom, and the toilet reminds me of something I’d encounter on an airplane. The amount of noise it emitted when I flushed it (by pressing a square plastic panel on the wall: also strange) made me wonder whether the contents were being blasted into the atmosphere.

Feel Real Café – Judah & 45th up by Ocean Beach

The good: Hidden – always fun to go hunting for a restaurant that doesn’t have a sign. Look for the Hobbit house. Bitter Pam is always suspicious of “overly” vegan/vegetarian eateries, but this one does not disappoint. All of the Feel Real Café’s offerings are all organic and ‘plant based.’ Does not take away from the food whatsoever. (Sorry, hippies, sometimes it does). The coffee – out of this world, as long as you’re okay with soy or rice milk. The cookies – did not personally try, but crunchies by the dozens were stopping in to buy them: FRC is apparently renowned for these cookies. The food – had waffle with fruit, was delicious, just sweet enough but not overwhelming. My dining companion had biscuits & “gravy,” which was delightfully Mediterranean-ish and delicious (not your everyday southern-style suspicious brown gravy). The staff. Perpetually upbeat and laid back (actually were so laid back they forgot to cook our food for the first half-hour we were there! Don’t come here if you’re in a rush: chill, man). Beach-town atmosphere of upper Richmond put me in good mood for the rest of the day.

The bad: Need more outdoor seating, and is a bit too dark if you’re in any of the seats that aren’t right by the window.

The bottom line: If you have a Saturday or Sunday morning to lounge around and chat with a friend, head up there and enjoy the food.

The bathroom: Clean and nice. Forgot to take notes, but would have remembered if it was dodgy.

Zazie – Cole St., Cole Valley

The good: As one of my favorite restaurants, just about everything. The food, number one: consistently delicious. Have had best duck / chicken dishes of my life here. The wine, served in tumblers rather than wine glasses (how I prefer it at home, so big bonus). The warm rolls, heated up in kitchen toaster right before they’re brought to table – delish. The service – friendly, laid-back staff always recognize your face, genuinely want you to enjoy your time there but aren’t overbearing. The atmosphere – I dream of parking myself in with a few friends on cold stormy nights. Would actually prefer to live here, if possible. Oh – love the back patio, too. Just haven't been able to go out there in months, as a result of dreary weather, so almost forgot it was there.

The bad: Too popular as of late! Bitter Pam is not the only fan.

The bottom line: Go, go, go! Check it out.

The bathroom: Barely existent – small sliding door off hallway to the kitchen. Purely functional.

John Colins Cocktails – 90 Natoma St. (off 2nd St. between Mission and Howard)

The good: is right around the corner from my work, so proximity of good booze and atmosphere perpetually calming. The service: John & Colin are awesome guys (and not bad to look at either). The design/décor of bar is very hip: exposed brick, cool art, caters to posh f-district post-work bar-goers and surfer, hip artsy scene patrons alike.

The bad: Get there early after work. Can be standing room only around 5:30/6:00 Thursday & Friday afternoons – don’t let it stop you: let’s face it, you could stand to make a few new friends.

The bottom line: head directly there after work if you’re downtown and in need of a wind-down drink.

The bathroom: very cool, always clean, quite enjoy going in there for a respite from the crowd

Frjtz’s – Hayes Valley

The good: The food! Yay! Enjoyed my chicken sandwich and unique mayonnaise/ketchup dipping sauces for the fries (chipotle mayonnaise, jalapeno ketchup). Belgian beer on tap: gets me every time. Back patio. Lulled my friends and I into such a state of content that we almost skipped the movie we were headed to afterward to sit and enjoy eachother’s company and drink several more Belgians – imagine! In retrospect, calmed state could have been caused by the high alcohol content of beer – watch out!

The bad: Don’t really have any complaints – food, drinks, service and atmosphere were all great.

The bottom line: Chill place to head with friends on a nice night to hang out on back deck and let the beer and conversation flow.

The bathroom: Interesting paradox here. Although my friend and I (combined IQ upwards of 300, for sure) combed the restaurant twice, we couldn’t seem to locate the black slatted door, which looks suspiciously like a window shutter, and had to be directed by one of the cooks. He didn’t seem surprised that we were perplexed, so I’m guessing it’s a common theme here. When we did finally find it, we were delighted to see that the bathroom was shrouded in darkness save for the bright glow-in-the-dark toilet seat! So it was hidden, but also shining brightly!

ZUNI Café - Market Street

The good: Décor, food (f you have enough of it – and do be sure to order enough of it)

The bad: The service (and Bitter Pam, as bitter as she may be, does not generally bitch about service: waiter just happened to be exceedingly rude, smug and pompous). The prices. Don’t want to spend $30 a plate on one chicken leg and two baby carrots.

The bottom line: Skip it, or go for lunch when you can get the burger – is purportedly good. Instead, head to Hotel Byron around the corner and get a good glass of wine and some appetizers, without the smug service, absurd prices or general bad taste in mouth upon exit.

The bathroom: Is so far from the table that my friends wonder whether I’ve gone on an epic adventure, and I’ve worked up a sweat getting back up the stairs.

EOS – Cole Valley

The good: Good wine, served in “flights” so you can have your own little tasting without having to stagger out afterward. Good service – water was never empty (good and bad for Bitter Pam, as if there is water, I will always chug it and spend half of time in bathroom).

The bad: $$$$$ is the first thing I have to say. While the food is average, and not bad, per se, the bottom line is that it is too expensive. EOS has the right idea with the wine, and they should keep wine the main focus. In the end, by way of food, the burger was my favorite thing. Again, nothing was bad, but it was just too damn expensive for mediocre food. Should lower food prices, emphasize wine.

The bottom line: Eh. Skip it for dinner - go to the separate wine bar next door with a friend and enjoy a glass of wine.

The bathroom: Very funky, wanted to hang out in there for a while.